Need Someone
by tdwilliams
Summary: They had defeated the god Bhunivelze and were reborn into the New World. For Serah, being able to marry her fiancé and having her friends and family all around her were all she wanted. Everything should have been perfect, so why wasn't it?
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I was in the middle of writing another Noerah fic when this multi-parter decided to crawl into my head and not leave until I did something about it. I will hopefully get around to the previous one (It's a one-shot so maybe when writer's block hits me) at some point in the future but my time tends to be limited by work and family obligations.

Updates will be slow and random although I do tend to have another chapter near completed whenever I post anything new. My overall outline is approximately 6 chapters but I do have a lot of head canon that could be thrown in here.

Here's to hoping it won't completely suck.

- TDW

Disclaimer: Spoilers for all three FF13 games apply, although this would take place after Lightning Returns.

Rating: T. Will go up to M in next chapter.

Chapter 1 - The One You Love

"You're not going to make it back again?"

"Sorry babe. One of the pipes bringing water into the village burst and it's contaminating a few of the other wells. We're stuck here at least another week."

Serah couldn't keep the disappointment from entering her voice. She was standing in their apartment kitchen setting down the final dish for dinner when he had called. It was so like Snow to not want her to worry, but still, "You couldn't call me when this happened? You and NORA were supposed to be on a flight home by now."

"I know and I'm sorry. I was just hoping when we first heard about it that the work would go faster than it has."

"But, everyone was expecting to see you. They'll be here any minute." Everyone being her sister, Hope, Sazh, Dajh and Noel. Yeul was busy with school this time and Vanille and Fang had yet to be found again in the new world. All of them were to meet up for a big dinner party to welcoming back NORA from their travels abroad to help villages and towns less fortunate. Serah had especially been looking forward to it as it would be the first time in months she would be able to see Snow and she missed him far too much as he continued to travel.

"I'm really sorry Serah. I promise, I'll be home as soon as I can, Maybe a week. We'll do our best to try and rush it. In the meantime, give everyone my best."

_"Snow, the chief wants to talk to you about that new path you want to set down and I think there may be other problems he wants to ask us about."_ Serah could hear Maqui in the background and she knew that he would have to go soon.

"Hey babe, I have to go. I really am sorry and I love you."

"I know. I love you too." Serah sniffled into the receiver moments before she turned off the phone in her hand. She should be used to this by now but every time Snow would call she was filled with dread as to what the next delay or problem was going to be. It had been far too long since she had last seen her hero and she was heartsick from missing him and not being able to touch him. What she wouldn't give just to hold his hand; yet here she was, alone in an apartment far too big for just one person. Well, there was her cat, Nora but that wasn't the same as human affection.

Not for the first time, Serah considered if her decision not to live with Lightning was the wrong one but in retrospect she would never have said no to Snow in the first place. He was the one she should be with. After all their struggles to get this far, it was the one of the first things she wanted.

She just hadn't expected things to be so hard and for him to be gone so long and so often.

Thankfully the ring at the door interrupted any further thoughts as she took off her apron to answer it, taking one last glance at the mirror in the foyer to make sure she was presentable before opening it. On the other side was her sister accompanied by Hope. The pair often spent time together as Lightning was assisting Hope to find the final members of their unusual group: Vanille and Fang. After the 'birth' and population of the New World, they had all been reborn, retaining their same ages and experiences as before but with the added benefit of a new life already ready and waiting for them to fill it. Each one of them had been given enough to start a new life and finally live the way they wanted.

"Serah?" Serah winced as she realized she wasn't properly welcoming her guests and opened her arms to greet her sister with a big hug, giving another one to Hope right after. She was so happy to see them.

"Thanks for coming you two." She stepped back and left them both enter the house, noticing as Lightning took stock of the place.

"Where's Snow?" A smile turned into a frown.

"He-he couldn't make it."

"Again?" Lightning didn't seem happy about Snow's absence although her old distain for Snow was less begrudging than it had been in the past. Hope sighed behind her, he didn't seem surprised either but any comments he might have had he was keeping to himself.

"Yes." It was getting embarrassing. Making plans and then having them change last minute. When Snow came home they would most definitely be talking about it. Serah was afraid that in spite of Lightning's current blessing on their engagement, she might suddenly decide to revoke it and start hating Snow again especially if Serah began to complain about it.

"When is everyone else getting here?" Hope interjected, changing the subject tactfully, something Serah made note to thank him for later.

"Well-"

"Right behind you." Sazh stepped up into the apartment just as Serah was about to answer, little Dajh in tow and Noel following soon after. She greeted each one with a hug before shooing them back into the dining room, ignoring Sazh's confused look when he asked when the rest of the gang was getting there. Lightning and Hope would be the ones to fill him in on what happened.

***

"So, the systems I set up to find more of the reborn like us is still pretty faulty. I'm starting to think it was sheer coincidence that we found Noel and Yeul." Hope was explaining his analysis on the data he'd picked up from his latest device. Just like back with the Academy he was in charge of a company managing technology systems, or rather developing and testing them although truthfully he was only putting a little effort in the ones he created and released to the public. The technology of this world was not what it had been where it had been on their old one. He feared that if he developed anything unwisely it could generate a war and none of them wanted that.

It seemed that no matter where Hope went, he would always somehow wind up needing to consider the worlds welfare. It still didn't stop him from making machines that would serve his own personal purposes though.

"Seems all of us meeting up again has been coincidence." Noel suggested.

"Yes. It is starting to look like it although I'm now considering extending my device to perhaps explore the possibility of rebirth in other eras. Both Vanille and Fang were born a good 500 years before the rest of us, before the timeline was distorted… I need to find out if that is a factor as to why we haven't met up with them yet."

Serah nodded, it was a good theory but- "What about Noel and Yeul? Neither one of them was born when we were yet they are here as well."

"That's true and I have to take that into account. The theory is still worth testing though."

"You know, if you want, I can ask Yeul if she has any ideas on why she and I were reborn in this time period. That might help you with your next device."

"Yeul is a bit of an anomaly on her own so that could be a factor. Thanks Noel."

"No problem. I'm sure she won't mind helping you."

"How is the young missy anyways?" Sazh inquired, of all of them only Noel and Serah really knew Yeul. The young yet ancient seeress kept mostly to herself when there was a group of people together. Noel had once mentioned to Serah that Yeul loved to sit back and pay attention since her life was no longer in danger of ending at any single moment. It wasn't much later that Yeul confirmed that fact and she was very active learning all she could about their new planet and making new friends.

"She's doing well. Studying hard and all that."

"She find herself a boyfriend yet?" Noel scoffed a bit.

"Not yet."

"Only because you terrified the last one." Serah couldn't help but get in the jab. For all Noel was Yeul's guardian, he also had a tendency to be overprotective.

"He was being inappropriate."

"He was touching her hair; _**you**_ grabbed his head and slammed his face into the doorjamb… twice."

"I forgot you were there when I did that."

"I'm sorry I asked." Sazh chuckled while he scratched his head. "Still adjusting to being a big brother I take it?"

"Definitely an adjustment." He admitted. Being reborn as Yeul's older brother was certainly different for him and not what anyone could have ever expected. Even Hope, who was the expert on what they knew about the rebirth process still didn't have a clue as to what would cause it. However the benefit for Noel was that it also made him her legal guardian since he was of age to keep her out of the foster system. That and they didn't even need to look to find one another. Still, no matter how much Serah pried to find out how or if it really bothered him, Noel would simply insist that everything was fine and she'd believed him… for the most part.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out. Serah will keep you in line if you get too crazy. Word is, she's got a difficult older sibling as well." Everyone got a good chuckle from that, even though Lightning shot Sazh a good stony glare.

"Don't worry everyone, I don't think Noel could ever get as scary as Lightning was."

Not long after the meal her guests began to let themselves out of the apartment. Serah was a bit sad about it as she would have enjoyed company for a longer time but they all have their own lives to get back to. As it was already the weekend, she herself didn't have much else to do. She was already caught up on her students assignments and her lesson plan so all that was really left was to clean up after her friends and go to bed. Meaning she was left alone with her thoughts again.

Sighing she started picking up the remaining plates on the table, not noticing the shadow behind her that was approaching.

"Hey." Several of the dishes fell from her hands and landed back on the table as she spun around, hand held at her chest to see Noel sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry about that; didn't mean to startle you." He walked over to where she was and began helping her pick up plates.

"What are you still doing here?" Not that she minded, it was nice to still have company over and it wasn't uncommon for Noel to come around. After everyone found each other again they all tended to live in proximity of one another although some travel was still involved.

"I figured you wouldn't mind some help with clean up, since Snow isn't around right now." The unspoken, 'help you clean up for his homecoming alone' was left unsaid. Noel was blunt on a good day but he was learning to be a bit more tactful with how he said things thanks to both her and Yeul's influence; plus Serah really didn't mind the help or company. They may not be traveling the timeline anymore trying to save the world but they were still best friends and she liked having him around.

"That'd be great." The two worked in silence as the rest of the dishes were picked up before heading into the kitchen. In spite of living in a reasonably sized place and having quite a few amenities neither Serah nor Snow thought about getting a dishwasher when they moved in. Therefore Serah had to do everything by hand. It was a good thing that parties like this weren't overly frequent and Noel stayed to lend a helping hand. It probably would have been more work if NORA along with Snow had been here but then she probably wouldn't have been able to get cleaning done that same evening anyways. Snow and the gang always liked to stay up.

"So, did he tell you when he'd actually be back?"

"Maybe a week?" Serah sighed, her hand wiping down suds from one of the dinner plates. Snow hadn't been very specific but she trusted his estimate on how long things might take.

"That sucks."

"Yes but he's helping people and making their lives so much better. I couldn't be prouder of him, really."

"Have you thought about maybe going with him one of these times?" She had. More than once in fact, not to mention it had come up more than once in conversation but it wasn't easy to explain why she didn't… or rather couldn't. It wasn't a matter of having faith like she had when Snow left to go find Lightning, instead it was more about respecting the feelings of her future husband and she wasn't sure if Noel would get that. "Serah?"

"Sorry, got lost in my thoughts a bit there." Noel gave her a skeptical look.

"Did something happen?"

"No. We just decided it was something that we would do. Besides, I just started my teaching job here and I think it helps him to know that he has a place that is easy to come back to."

"I guess that's good?" He finished wiping off the final dish from the sink before turning off the faucet and placing a calming hand on her shoulder. "Being separated and still loving each other- I don't think I could be as strong as you Serah." Seeing the calm but sad look on the younger mans face made Serah suddenly want to lash out. She wasn't strong, she was lonely and that feeling got worse every day.

_"Why can't I come?" Serah had begged the question the second time Snow had gone off with NORA to assist a struggling village of the coast of a continent halfway around the world. Each trip away seemed to take a longer period of time, a longer breach before either them saw one another, a longer time that was spent not preparing for their supposedly upcoming marriage, which still didn't have a wedding date._

_"I already told you Serah, these villages are filled with refugees from some pretty nasty war-torn countries. There's still plenty of militia at the borders waiting to drag these people back. I can't guarantee your safety."_

_"But if it's so bad why are you still going? Don't you think I worry about you too?"_

_"A hero's got to do what a hero's got to do. These people need help Serah."_

_"Snow, you don't need to be a hero anymore. Lightning fought so that none of us would have to! We have a real chance to just have normal lives here."_

_"I know… but this is just something I have to do." He had left the argument at that, never letting her in on what was going through his head as he left for the airport the very next day. The only comfort she had for his trip was that Sazh was flying the plane so she knew at least going and getting back he would be safe. Eventually, there would be so many of these trips that Sazh wasn't always available but… she wondered what was so important that they had to wait and with each following trip she wondered if they were even going to get married._

_Since the rebirth Snow had become more subdued. Likely from all the years spent in a transient world constantly being invaded by chaos. It made Serah worry if the man she once loved even knew she was there._

"How's Yeul?" She asked wanting to change the subject to something less uncomfortable. Since the dishes were finished, she sat down on one of the stools she had by her counter while Noel started to rummage in the cabinets

"Good, she started up with another club."

"Oh? Which one?"

"Drama." Serah laughed. She always wondered what this Yeul, the one from 700 AF would enjoy doing and Yeul herself was very active in trying all sorts of different hobbies and activities. Now that she was free from her fate she was living her life to the fullest.

"She liking it?"

"I guess so. She hasn't really told me much about it except when she has after school stuff."

"Maybe she found a new boy she likes?" Serah teased. Noel groaned as he reached and pulled out one of the larger liquor bottles. It looked like one of the ones her sister gifted her.

"What do we have here? Looks like Lightning brought you a little present from her last trip out with Hope." He set the bottle down on the counter before grabbing a couple glasses from another cabinet. "Does she honestly think she's going to find Vanille and Fang this way or is it just an excuse to own so many different types of vodka?"

"You could always ask her."

"Do I look suicidal?"

"Maybe. You know, I think she intended that bottle for Snow but he hasn't been home to drink it yet." Saying Snow's name reminded Serah of the others absence, an unexpected pang stinging her heart that she couldn't dismiss.

"Should I put it back then?"

"No, no, go ahead. Who knows if he'll even drink it when he gets back. "

The younger man smiled as he twisted the cap off, pouring clear liquid about midway into each cup. "Do you want anything else in it or do you want to drink it straight?"

"Mmm, maybe some cranberry juice and ice. I think there's some still in the fridge."

"Coming up then." After Noel fished out the juice and poured it for the both of them, he handed her one of the glasses and pushed her towards the main sitting room where the TV was located, carrying the remaining liquor and his own glass with him. The two sat side by side as they sipped their drinks and Serah flipped through the channels to find a movie or show they could watch. It was nice hanging out together, just the two of them.

Eventually Serah decided on a movie and the two of them settled in on drinking their vodka's, renewing their own glasses as they felt the need. Serah had a really good buzz going by the time Noel said something that made Serah begin to laugh. She took another chug of her drink, the taste of alcohol long since forgotten when she saw the challenge in his eyes and the curve of his lips as he kept talking. It was as though she couldn't help herself as she leaned forward brushing her lips against his, the reaction on his face shocked but somehow inviting as she leaned in and kissed him again.

The last thing she remembered as the drink she held dropped from her hand to stain white carpet was being thrown down onto cotton sheets, hard lips, and a warm peace as the darkness crept over her.


	2. Chapter 2

Author Note: When I originally wrote Chapter 1, I did not know at the time that Lightning + Vodka = A Thing. I've been outside of fandom in general for a number of years so it's taking me time to catch up. This chapter marks the beginning of the smut portion of this fic and as a result it is a little shorter than the previous one. On the plus side, the following chapter is in it's editing stages which I did not originally plan for so at least this month chances of another update are high.

Enjoy,

- TDW

Disclaimer: Spoilers for all three FF13 games apply, although this would take place after Lightning Returns.

Rating: MA

Chapter 2 - Fantasy or Reality?

It was morning when she finally woke, her head felt like it was filled with cotton although it was pounding hard enough that she could hear it thrumming in her brain. Serah had no idea what was in that vodka Lightning had gotten Snow but she was going to beg her never to buy it again.

She had never been so hammered in her life.

She wondered if Noel was feeling the same way. He'd had about the same amount to drink as she had… speaking of whom; Did he crash on the couch again? There was a faint buzzing feeling on her lips that Serah felt she should know something about but her brain was so fuzzy she couldn't think much on it. Small wisps of sun broke through the curtain of her bedroom like tiny needles poking her in the vision. Giving herself a few minutes to adjust to the change she eventually took stock of her surroundings.

From what she could tell, nothing was remiss. She was wearing the clothes she had on from last night, although she was now on her own bed, a couple of pills for headache and a glass of water set on her nightstand hinting as to the whereabouts of her drinking companion. Most likely after she had gotten a bit too wasted he dropped her off in her bedroom and made sure she wouldn't have to go far in order to start nursing her hangover. She would have to thank him later; it was becoming a habit.

With Snow gone, Serah had taken to drinking a bit more than she normally would have. At one point in her life she would only drink at a party or event making her at most a social drunk if things got out of hand. However, with each day she spent missing Snow she found herself drinking even on days she wouldn't think to normally. Thankfully on those days she also often had company, mostly Noel, sometimes her sister and at times even Hope. It seemed that at least one of them would notice if she was either having a bad day or received news that made her unhappy. She didn't talk about it, not really, but someone was always around long enough to keep things light so she didn't go too crazy.

Grabbing the pills on her nightstand she slipped them between her lips and grabbed the water, swallowing quickly. Last night was different somehow and she couldn't quite wrap her mind around it. The alcohol she'd imbibed made it impossible to recall anything. She'd probably have to ask Noel when she next talked to him. For now she would just focus on re-hydrating so she could function again.

"Well good-morning sleeping beauty." Serah nearly choked on her water as she turned her head to the source of the voice, glass falling from her hand to land and spill on the bed. In front of her, was the last person she had expected to see.

"Snow!" She leapt off the bed and ran towards him, tripping after just a fews steps due to impaired vision from her hangover. Still, her hero caught her effortlessly lifting her into the air and enveloping her in a emphatic hug, her own arms echoing his greeting and wrapping around him as tears spilled from her eyes, weeping for joy.

Snow was home. He was finally home.

As she pushed away from him she finally was able to take him all in. He looked weary from travel, like he hadn't slept, his clothes were wrinkled and his hair looking like it needed a good brushing even though most of it was hidden underneath his beanie. "What are you doing here?" Even though she made the accusation she couldn't keep the excitement out of her voice.

"I could hear how disappointed you were over the phone so I decided to hop on the first red eye I could and come home. I left the remaining repairs for the guys in NORA to supervise until I can get back." Hearing him say 'until I can get back' caused a small spark of disappointment to flood through Serah's heart but it was still overshadowed by the joy she felt at having Snow here now. She hugged him again, his mere presence warming her, she wanted to never forget how being in his arms felt ever again. He had been gone too often with so little contact in between that she had only felt a whisper of his presence when he wasn't near.

"That's wonderful." She pulled back reluctantly, staring up into warm gray eyes that had also clearly missed her. She knew the time apart must have hurt him just as much as her and Serah felt guilty for the loneliness she had blamed on him. Not when he had felt her very same pain. Not when she knew he had suffered longer without her.

"So, how bout a hero's welcome?" His eyebrows waggled as he said it, making Serah giggle as Snow bent over to connect his lips with hers. They were a bit rough from the climate where he had traveled but it was the most wonderful feeling in the world to have them pressed against her own. Her mouth opened to welcome his tongue as he swept the appendage over her lips, quickly diving in to taste her. This, this is what she had been missing for so long without him.

Lifting her up into his arms, Snow easily carried her over to the bed laying her careful over the comforter. Silently, Serah thanked the gods for the painkiller that she had taken as her headache was already starting to dissipate as she lay on the bed, Snow removing his own trench coat before moving over her and capturing her lips once again. She removed the beanie from his head, releasing uneven blond locks and running her hands through them. She loved how silky his hair always seemed to manage to stay and the added growth over the years was especially endearing as it framed his face perfectly. Slowly Snow moved from Serah's lips down to her neck and towards her chest, burying his face into her breasts before pulling back feeling each one with his hands. "Snow…" Serah gasped at the sensation. She loved it when he was bold like this, always taking charge.

She felt like a princess.

"Serah, it's been too long. I have to have you." He was already pulling off his shirt as he said it before making short work of her top and bra. She lay mostly exposed as he lowered his mouth down to take in one of her nipples making her arch, that electric feeling darting through her body and pooling around her lower abdomen. She heard more than felt Snow making short work of his pants before he lifted her skirt and moved her panties just enough so that he could slip two of his fingers inside.

"Snow!" Serah screamed her pleasure out in the fading darkness of the room. Moving her hips in tempo with his fingers as he continued to slide them in and out, his other hand assisting his mouth in pleasuring her breasts. He was slowly bringing her towards climax, the more wet she became the more she opened up to him, legs falling to the side as she spread them wider, letting his fingers slip deeper, hitting something she wasn't all together familiar with.

Calling his name, again and again, she kept moving with his hands and his mouth hoping to find release but no matter how he touched her she just wasn't getting what she needed. Looking into her fiancé's eyes, Serah became more impatient as she urged him to kiss her again, just barely noticing how his gray eyes became darker, almost blue as he gazed back at her. As they battled for dominance, she grabbed his hair forcing him to let go of her as she pushed him back, making him lie down beneath her.

Making quick work of his pants and her own underwear, Serah straddled his lap hovering just over his cock which was practically glistening due to pre cum. It was tempting to try and just finish him first but she was so close to the edge the only thing she could do was close her eyes and lower herself to let him slide in, groaning as her body arched, his hands reaching up to guide her face over to his, kissing her soundly as they both moaned into each others mouths.

_'So close'_ He was in so deep she could barely concentrate, the sounds coming from both of them needy as she moved over him, her body feeling like someone set it on a rapidly increasing electrical current.

"Serah…" Her name rolled reverently off full lips and she opened her eyes to look at him, blue meeting blue, blond hair now a shorter dark brown as he got thicker inside of her, the look on his face just as desperate with lust as hers.

"Noel?" She felt his hands move to grab her waist, forcing her down harder as he raised his hips against hers, forcing her to ride him to completion. "Ah!" Lights were bursting behind her eyes as she watched him, barely able to keep a hold of any thoughts in her head as she tipped over the edge and came, blacking out moments after she slumped over him.

It was morning when she finally woke, her head felt like it was filled with cotton although it was pounding hard enough that she could hear it thrumming in her brain. Serah had no idea what was in that vodka Lightning had gotten Snow but she was going to beg her never to buy it again.

She had never been so hammered in her life.

She wondered if Noel was feeling the same way. He'd had about the same amount to drink as she had… speaking of whom; Did he crash on the couch again? There was a faint buzzing feeling on her lips and a dull throb between her legs that Serah felt she should know something about but her brain was so fuzzy she couldn't think much on it. She was exhausted and just wanted to go back to sleep where it was warm and comfortable before the migraine she was sure to have caught up with her.

"Serah?" Serah grumbled in response, wrapping her arms around the warmth next to her. She barely registered the whisper but couldn't help but feel like it was very familiar. "Serah? The voice urged, sounding more nervous and worried by the second. It was enough to irritate her good mood.

"Noel, go back to sleep already." She huffed hugging the warm body next to her and burying her head into a rather solid chest.

If he kept harassing her, she was just going to…

Her eyes shot open, finally queuing her in on the situation at hand. The source of that comforting warmth wasn't anything that was normally kept in her bed, no, it was her best friend; her stark naked, pressed against her because of how she had wrapped her arms around him, best friend. "Noel?" How? What? Why was he naked in her bed? Those thoughts she was too shocked to speak aloud and from the look in his eyes as they met hers, he was sharing those thoughts too.

"Morning?" He tried unsuccessfully to hide his nerves behind a smile but it didn't help Serah any. Nope. She was just a few seconds away from a complete panic attack as she slowly pushed away from him, wrapped what she could of the sheet around her own naked body and bolted from the bed, ignoring his plea as he shouted after her. "Serah!" She didn't make it far, only to the small ensuite bathroom that was just a few feet from the bed but it was far enough for her close the door and let the shock roll over her, tears streaming down her cheeks as the full realization of what happened last night hit her. She'd slept with Noel Kreiss.

Every moment of the dream she had been having moments before she woke was called into question. How much of it had been real? How much of it wasn't? It hadn't been till the end that she'd seen Noel but of course she had done nothing to stop it. In her head, in what she assumed was just a crazy dream there was nothing abnormal about screwing her best friend. She may be in love with Snow but she was still a woman and with Snow gone so often it was hard not to notice that Noel was attractive. She had even given in to a few moments of guilty pleasure when alone sometimes.

Now she'd give anything to travel the Historia Crux and reverse time so that _none_ of it had ever happened.

Slowly she slid to the floor as the full blow of her betrayal hit her. She had done the one thing she had never thought herself capable of doing no matter how long it had been since she had last seen Snow. She cheated on him. Cheated on the one man who had believed her in everything, loved her against all odds and suffered so long to see her again when she had been lost to death.

"Serah? Are you okay?" Noel's concerned voice poured through the door and Serah couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking through all of this. The look in his eyes and tone of his voice when he woke her proved that he was just as surprised as she was. They'd both been so drunk last night and she honestly couldn't remember much of anything that could indicate who initiated it. So instead of asking or talking to him she kept crying, hands coming up to cover her face as she ignored Noel pleading through the door to talk.

Eventually she heard a sigh and then movement as the sounds of drawers being opened and closed sounded from her room. "Serah, I left some clothes by the door for you. I'll- I'll wait around the house… when you're ready." Serah felt more than heard him leave the bedroom and breathed a sigh of relief that he'd gone away. Still, when she backed away from the bathroom door so she could open it, she took caution in case he heard her moving. She couldn't talk to him about what happened. Not yet.

True to his word a small folded pile of clothes was waiting for her right beside the door. The gesture was so sweet that for a few seconds Serah really hated Noel for being so considerate. '_Guess I better try getting dressed.' _She grabbed the clothes and closed the door again, making sure she wouldn't be interrupted as she dressed. It was then that the pain in her head decided to shake hands with her body and her muscles seized up, making her nearly fall over as she tried to stand. Instead she ended up sitting partly on the toilet where she could see the vanity mirror, the comforter wrapped around her now exposing the top half of her body.

To her surprise, her neck seemed relatively unmarked, at most some very light bruises along her clavicle that would be easy enough to cover up in front of her students with her usual blouse and cardigan. And although she felt sore everywhere, it seemed more likely a result of overexertion than actually being handled roughly. As she lowered the cloth, her breath catching as she noticed more marks left by the hunter, she couldn't help but have short flashes run through her head over what had happened: The feel of a tongue between her legs as her thighs clenched around a mop of brown hair, her body arching as she kept cumming on his lips over and over again.

It was enough to make her face turn red in shame.

Biting her lip, Serah forced herself to snap out of it. As much as she wanted to forget and pretend this didn't happen, it did and Noel made it clear he was waiting on her to talk about it. Considering how he looked as freaked out as she was… the look of confusion and fear in his eyes was enough to make her worried about their friendship. They needed to talk and figure out what happened and why it happened.

Steeling herself and fighting back another bout of sobbing Serah forced herself to stand and opened the door to her shower, ignoring the feel of evidence between her legs that proved what happened last night. She would face Noel but there was no way she was going to do so looking and smelling like she did.

- To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: This was a bitch of a chapter to write due to several issues I had regarding character interactions not seeming so OOC that it turned out ridiculous. Eventually I got to a point where I just stopped caring about it so I could close it out and move on to the next chapter. With some luck hopefully this chapter will still be an enjoyable/tolerable read.

Enjoy,

- TDW

Disclaimer: Spoilers for all three FF13 games apply, although this would take place after Lightning Returns.

Rating: T

Chapter 3 - Memory Serves

Breathe in. Breathe out. No matter how many times she did it, Serah couldn't seem to calm herself. She had run the shower until the water turned ice cold over her body, her skin had goose bumps and her fingers pruned. Now she stood in front of her bathroom mirror wearing the clothes Noel had grabbed for her. He'd chosen something simple, most likely the first items he had put his hands on but it covered what she needed to have covered so she wouldn't be self-conscious about the marks on her body leftover from their tryst. If only she could calm down enough to get out of this room to talk to him.

The more she tried to remember the less she wanted to know. With every flash of memory came sensation and Serah could barely contain her embarrassment at the things she had done with Noel. It was the main reason why she was still here in the bathroom trying to work up the courage to face him. How did you talk to someone who up until the previous day was somebody you had never honestly considered romantically? If they couldn't set the record straight what would that mean for their friendship? Their journey through time had brought them together as friends and made them close, the rebirth and meeting again bringing them closer as they still continued to lean on each other through their respective transitions. She couldn't imagine what life would be like if they fell apart after something like this. She needed him.

What would Lightning think of her now? Cowering in a small room instead of facing the consequences of her actions head on. It wasn't how Serah had been raised and she wasn't going to let her fear control her. She knew she was at least partly responsible although she didn't know exactly how or why. Regardless, she wanted to at least maintain the friendship she had with Noel.

One more time she breathed before steeling herself to open the door and face the music.

He was in the kitchen when she found him or rather worked up the courage to enter the room where it all began. If she'd never let Noel try that vodka Lightning had purchased for Snow perhaps this all could have been avoided. Neither one of them were lightweights but something was wrong with that particular bottle, she just knew it. Entering the archway to the kitchen she could see that he was dressed in the same clothes he had on the previous evening. It wasn't as though he had any other options as he'd never stayed overnight before.

He was sitting at the main dining table leaned over with his head on one hand while the other was scratching the back of his head, a habit he still had after all this time, usually when he was thinking. It wasn't until he pulled his hand away to join the other that she gasped, finally seeing a line of hickeys along his neckline. Said gasp alerting him to her presence, he turned his head to her a small smirk on his face covering up some of his own trepidation.

"You know, I always knew you were an amazing Ravager, I just never thought I'd find out first hand." At his callous remark, all the anxiety Serah had felt up to this point dispelled as she rushed over to hit him upside the head, embarrassed.

"Noel!"

"Ow!" He rubbed the spot where she hit him before chuckling a bit in response although Serah could still hear his nervousness. She knew he was putting up a front so that things would be smoother. It worked. "Feeling any better?"

"You didn't have to say that, you know!" Serah huffed at him, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"I'm sorry but you were so tense I could feel it from across the room. I thought it might help. " His expression sobered up from its previous playful face as he turned his head away, pushing out the chair beside him with his foot so Serah could take a seat. It took a few moments but eventually Serah cooled down; Noel looked just as tired as she felt and judging from what she could remember Serah strongly doubted either one of them got much sleep the night before. No, they were both running on adrenaline and the effects of it were already starting to wear off.

"So, do you remember what happened?" Serah wondered out loud, her hands now fidgeting together on the table as she kept her head down. It was still hard to look at Noel without a major blush working its way up to her face. Even without looking she could tell he felt the same. How could you look someone in the face after you 'accidentally' slept with them?

"I'm not too sure. I remember drinking the alcohol Lightning bought for Snow with you on the couch and we were talking because we were bored. Then…" he paused, from the corner of her eye Serah could tell he was unsure of how to say what came next.

"I kissed you." She remembered that although she still had no idea why she did it in the first place. Kissing Noel wasn't something she would just do without prompting. She was an engaged woman and kissing him just didn't sound like something she would do out of the blue without some reason.

"Yeah."

"Do you know why?" He gave her a puzzled look before catching on to the fact she herself didn't know why she kissed him.

"If you're asking me why, I'd blame the alcohol for it. That stuff is double the proof of what we normally drink." That answered the question as to what seemed wrong about the alcohol. Still, Serah shot Noel a withering look as he shrugged. "I didn't ask you to do it or anything."

"I meant what started it. Do you remember?" Noel thought about it for only a second before answering.

"Do you remember that bet we have on Hope and Lightning?"

_"I'm telling you, those two are having sex." The buzz of the alcohol was in full swing as Serah bumped into Noel, laughing. They were leaning into each other as Noel went on with his ongoing theory regarding Hope and her sister's sex life. His main hypothesis regarded how they were probably hooking up behind everyone's backs. It had been a constant back and forth between the two friends as soon as Lightning went to go work with Hope._

_"They're not even together and my sister isn't like that." Of course, no matter how much Serah liked Hope and the idea of her sister having found somebody, she still had to defend her sister's honor. Besides, she knew way more about the two of them than Noel did; With the Purge and reestablishment of society on Pulse, Serah had gotten to know Hope pretty well through the other l'cie and Snow. As for Lightning, they grew up together so of course she knew her sister and she was pretty sure said sister didn't have hormones._

_"They spend all of their time together when she isn't with you." Noel countered, pouring more vodka into his glass, the red from the cranberry juice starting to fade as the alcohol ratio got higher and he stopped adding juice._

_"That's because they're working together trying to find Vanille and Fang!" Serah gulped down a generous portion of her own drink, giggling at the preposterousness of Noel's ridiculous theory. He was always so hooked on it. "Besides, don't you remember that I told you they met when he was just 14? He was that little kid that used to follow her around for protection."_

_"Exactly. He was 14 but now he's older than her. When they met doesn't matter."_

_"So?"_

_"So, it's obvious he likes her and she doesn't seem to mind spending time with him."_

_"Again, that's all you're basing this on?" She pushed his shoulder, the alcohol in his system causing him to flop over onto his side, overreacting to her movement just because it was silly. Noel was a happy drunk. "I think it's sweet if Hope has a crush on her but you don't know my sister. I'm pretty sure she's asexual… as in, not interested in anyone."_

_"Or maybe she's just Hope-sexual."_

_"Hope-sexual? I thought I was the one who's 'thought process shouldn't exist'." She air quoted with her empty hand as she giggled some more. "The chances of Hope and my sister getting together are about as likely as you and me getting together!" When Serah looked over at Noel, who still hadn't bothered to get up from his flop she could have sworn Noel was issuing a challenge with his eyes as he turned to face her, his body completely relaxed on the couch as he smiled at her. Serah couldn't stop herself from thinking he looked beautiful._

_"Really? I say you'll still owe me 50 bucks by the end of the year on this one."_

_"You don't believe I'm right?"_

_"I'd believe you if you had better proof." No longer one to back down from a fight, Serah didn't even think to stop herself as she leaned over and quickly captured Noel's lips with her own. The pressure of his lips against her own lasted barely a second before Noel pulled away in surprise. It was strange. It didn't feel wrong and as royal blue eyes met her own something passed between them, curiosity maybe, before she leaned over to do it again. The vodka cranberry she held in her hand fell to the ground when he slowly began to respond, a flick of tongue urging her to open her lips as he wrapped his arms around her._

"If you think about it, this is really all their fault. Lightning did buy the vodka." Noel snarked, trying to diffuse the tension again. Serah buried her face in her hands, humiliation spreading through her. Yes, the memory was vague but now she could remember it. They had been drunk as hell but once they started, all the soft hesitant touches slowly turned aggressively passionate. Up to this point she had only recalled laughing over something silly before she kissed Noel and none of the reason why she had done so in the first place. Now she couldn't stop thinking about how foolish she had been.

"So, you remember everything?" Her voice was shaking as she fought down the urge to demand why Noel hadn't just rejected her outright and gone home the moment she decided flinging herself at him was a good idea. Noel had never seemed the type to take advantage of anyone for any reason yet he still slept with her.

"I'm not really sure what I remember but that's not what you're asking me, are you?" Noel sighed, running his hand through his hair again as his expression twisted in anguish as though hesitant to ask his next question. "What happened with Snow, Serah?" Serah started, not expecting Noel to ask her that instead of answering. They were looking at each other now, shame forgotten.

"Snow called right before the dinner party. He was supposed to be home just in time to join us but he was still out of the country."

"And he waited till the last second to tell you." Noel filled in, looking unhappy about Snow's actions.

"Well, there is a time difference so he may not have known." She wasn't surprised when this time Noel gave her a withering look, knowing it sounded stupid even before she said it.

"Are you serious? Did he hop on the plane and decide to turn back mid-flight for whatever crisis it was that had him stay behind? He knows when to call you Serah." As much as Noel respected Snow the two men never did see eye to eye on how to do things. Snow was still Snow, always barreling into whatever trouble he could get into, even if it was the type of trouble that helped other people. Noel was even more cautious these days when it came to taking action. The only times he truly lost his cool usually only came about as a result of something involving Yeul.

"He just didn't want to disappoint me." Noel rubbed his face in frustration while Serah looked down at the table focusing on a single part of the tablecloth pattern as though it would make everything okay. She knew Noel understood what was left unsaid in that sentence, the 'again'.

"Serah, how many times will he disappoint you before you get tired of it?" The way he asked was gentle, hesitant, as if he knew Serah would hate the question once it was said. He even looked worried about her reaction when she looked at him because he knew how sensitive Serah was when anyone badmouthed Snow.

"I love him Noel." It was the truth. It didn't matter how much Snow disappointed her. She loved him and he loved her. That alone made it worth it and that was why she shouldn't have slept with Noel. Drunk, lonely, even though it was an accident, it still shouldn't have happened.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"No." She saw Noel's lips press into a thin line, his face wearing an expression she wasn't sure how to interpret. Serah wasn't entirely sure but she wondered if Noel was mad at her. The answer was honest though, if Snow ever found out they had slept together he would never let them see each other again and Serah didn't want something like choosing between the two men to end her friendship with Noel.

"Why not? He might rush home after hearing about it. Make sure to mark his territory and never let another man touch you again." Noel suggested, though Serah wasn't sure if he was serious. Something in his voice seemed off, like he was trying to stop himself from saying something else. Maybe something he'd regret.

"He would, wouldn't he?" A wry smile crossed her lips as she thought about the possibility of Snow coming home to stay permanently "Do you really want me to though? Tell him, I mean."

"No." Noel conceded, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he leaned back against his chair. "Snow's a pretty forgiving guy but I don't think unintentionally getting his fiancée killed and sleeping with her fall into the same category. Now to mention the fact that I don't want to wreck your relationship." Noel sighed as he leaned back and reached over, his hand covering hers on the table. "We'll keep this between us Serah."

Serah released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, a hesitant but grateful smile crossing her face. "Thank you Noel."

"You don't have to thank me." His hand gripped hers lightly, fingers slowly wrapping their way around her own. "As for what happened… Why don't we just chalk it up to the fact that we were both feeling lonely and needed someone." Something about the way he said it calmed the remaining concern within Serah. It seemed no matter what Noel wasn't going to give up on their friendship either and this was his way of letting her know that.

Bzzz. Bzzz.

The vibration on Serah's cell phone startled them both, hands pulling away as Serah got up to grab the device from her counter. She had forgotten that she had left it there the night before. After she flipped it open she saw Snow's name on the screen, her heart doing a quick twist as another tinge of pain found its way into her chest. It would probably be a long time, if ever, that the feeling of guilt from her recent infidelity would go away.

"It's Snow." Noel nodded from his seat and stood.

"I should get going. I need a shower and I still have a class to get to today." The phone buzzed again as Serah watched Noel check to make sure what few belongings he had on his person were still there before he came up beside her. "You should probably answer that before it goes to voice mail. I can let myself out." Hesitantly he wrapped his arms around her in a quick hug goodbye pulling away before Serah could respond in kind though her mind went blank the moment his arms enveloped her. He smelled like sex, his touch burning as some particularly indecent flashes of memory passed through her. She wondered if he felt it too as he met her gaze for what seemed like eternity before turning to walk away. "I'll see you later."

"Okay." The phone buzzed again. Snow's name flashing on the screen as a harsh reminder of reality. Letting it go to voice mail was tempting but Serah couldn't bring herself to ignore him. All her previous upset and anger from the night before had thoroughly vanished. Pressing the button she put the phone on speaker. "Good morning Snow."

"Hey beautiful, it's still morning?" Serah shook her head at how happy Snow sounded. Even though she had obviously been upset just the other evening he bounced back like it was nothing. Sometimes she wondered if she should be happy about that or annoyed like Lightning would have been.

"Yup. Bright and early."

"Really? Maybe I should have Maqui check my watch again, it says it's close to noon over there."

"Huh?" Serah looked at the clock hanging over the archway leading into the kitchen. It was half past 11 in the morning, almost noon. She shook her head at how stupid she must have sounded to Snow. "Oh. I must have slept in."

"Wild night?" She could practically hear the teasing in Snow's voice, the burn of remorse shooting through her as she fought her instinct to just tell him everything regardless of the consequences. Instead she remained silent, letting him lead the conversation. "Good to know the gang can still party without me."

"They all missed being able to see you."

"Really? That's good to hear. Although I thought Sis would still be unhappy with me though." Snow was referring to the last time he had failed to come home on time. Lightning had given him such a riot act after learning about it that Serah stopped telling her sister about these small disappointments. It was just much better to just let the little things go. "I have some great news. The repairs we thought would take a week will only take a couple days, so I should be home soon."

"That's great Snow." Serah smiled even though she knew Snow couldn't see her. A wave of relief filled her heart knowing that once he came home everything would be better. They would talk about their marriage and maybe set a date so she could start putting all the misery of missing him behind her. He had been hesitant to do it at first but after what just happened with Noel Serah didn't want to wait any longer.

She was going to fight to be with her hero.


End file.
